I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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