Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
