Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
