Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
