based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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