All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
