Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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