Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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