I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
