i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
