Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
