at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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