he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
