well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
