He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
