Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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