do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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