Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
