Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
