Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
