So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I bet he comes in French.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
