I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
