I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
