I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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