i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
