so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
