While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
