but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
