The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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