don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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