I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize