you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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