Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
