He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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