Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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