I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
