butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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