You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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