I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
