worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
