Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
