:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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