whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
