and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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