He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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