youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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