apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
