3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this beer tastes like vomit already
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
