I wanna passion pit in your ass
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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