I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
