I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
